Fly into the sun

rock bottom. so thats how you feel. it isnt nice. youre not nice. you make me angry and despair at the state of my life. you have brought me to my knees, no my back, as i lay down in this chasm that i had dug with my fingers. my hands lay beside me, bloody with their nails ripped clean off; i didnt notice them until now. they hurt. my skin is full of scratches and cuts. my clothes have diminished to nothing but rags. the rocks that i bumped into cut deep into me and now im just a bloody dirty mess laying defeated at the bottom of this hole that i had dug. im tired. i felt like i was alone. all alone hurting and sore from the digging. sigh. i dont care anymore. i can just die here.

i sit back up and feel this new strength. confused, i try and remember the last time that i had eaten. it had been days, even weeks. baffled, i stood up and the hole didnt seem so big anymore. the sun was shining right into my ditch. i looked at my hands and my body. they werent so bloody anymore and not as painful. had i even hurt myself? this cant possibly be happening, this is impossible. but i look around. im not in the ditch anymore. im in my room and the sun is shining directly into the window. the curtains part and i could see the new morning. the beautiful sun rising powerfully to call the new day unto its feet. none can contest the power of the sun as it calls the new day and all other living things rose to their feet as i had done and participated in the start of such a beautiful day. then friends surrounded me. i had friends. i didnt notice that before. people care about me. where did that come from? they love me for who i am and welcome me back into life.

how is this possible? whats happening? how come i havent noticed it until now? my life has become so valuable. so worth fighting to keep. so worth the pain and the hardships that keep me down. my friends, my life, my community, my life group; they shine brighter than the most valuable gem. i want to keep this. i love where i am now. this is what i want. dont take it away from me. GOD smiles and helps me up to my feet. His words strengthen me and my legs so that i could walk. He tells me to run. He tells me to sprint. He tells me to fly. He tells me that he loves me. He tells me that this power is a gift. He tells me to Protect this new treasure that i had found, to protect it with all that i am and that He is with me every step of the way. He equips me and sends me on my way.

I smile. I see now. I get it. God has been there all the time. HA! rock bottom. I laugh at you. But thanks. Now I can move up. Thanks for being rock bottom, now all I can do is go up. I pick myself up from the dirt floor, bloody hands and all. I stand as I spread my wings and fly away into the sky.