Drinkability? No. Just Drunkallkjdlk,fty....

It is 3:10AM. I'm currently at this moment in time sitting comfortably in a fish bowl chair drowsily trying to string words together. They say that if you are significantly sleep deprived, you begin to feel the symptoms of being intoxicated. I can definitely say it is like being drunk; if being drunk is an impending headache, extreme lack of focus, and sleepiness.

Now to the problem at hand. I am in this situation due to a fire alarm that turned out to be the real thing with fire trucks and flooded parts of the West Quad basement. I'm assuming that it's taking hours because they have to search the whole premises to locate the problem then solve it. Now. IF we had employed the Amazing Squirtle Squad Fire Brigade to patrol the hallowed halls of West Quad, we the West Quadians, would not be in such a taxing situation. They would be diligent in enforcing the fire safety rules with a stern SQUIRTLE!! to the rebellious souls that play with fire. You see, Squirtles are super effective against fire and would be a very effective solution to any fiery situation. Their hard shells would also serve as excellent protection against burning debris and stay in danger until the job was done. All they would require would be Pokeballs furnished with an indoor pool, jacuzzi, and an LCD Widescreen with which they would watch old episodes of Pokemon with their fellow pocket monsters and laugh about the good old days.

Yes I understand that the previous paragraph is extremely ridiculous and completely impossible to carry out. And I understand that the reference to the Squirtle Squad will only make sense to the Pokemon fans out there, and what I've written will further prove that I may have been under the influence of a certain substance while writing this post. But I ensure you, I am only suffering from sleep deprivation and Nurse Joy will be here shortly to see what she can do about it. She may assign a Drowsee to put me to sleep every night to cure me of my insomnia and quite possibly an Alakazam to analyze my psychological state. After those treatments, I should be back to normal! Ah here she comes now with my dear friend Ash Ketchum and they tell me that the situation at West Quad has been resolved. Great! I should be able to get some sleep now.

Off to sleep now! I bid thee, World of Waking, adieu for I am off to visit Grandpa Slumber and listen to his tales and stories. I will walk among your inhabitants once again tomorrow. Good night!