Epic Fail

I've proven once again that I'm a slacker and I would drive myself to pure oblivion academically and socially if not for the Lord.

Last night everything that could go wrong was going wrong. My ME250 hw required that I do it online and on a remote desktop provided by the University on a website. It was due today and I had a test today so it had to be done before I started. The remote desktop was disconnecting on me, the program I was using was restarting on me, and my patience was thinning on me. It was reminiscent of the nights before previous tests and those tests had not gone well. The hw was taking forever too. It wasn't supposed to.

I had finished the homework by 1:30, praise the Lord, and took a break. And of course, the break was an extended break fueled by my desire to avoid doing any kind of work at 2 o' clock in the morning. So I started to perform the good old "study" motions like any good college student by 2:30 am. Needless to say, by 5:30 am I had only accumulated about an hour of studying for this history exam that was in four and a half hours and the hour of studying was from 4:30 to 5:30. Go figure. Overwhelmed by the drunken stupor that is sleep deprivation, I sulked off to bed to try and squeeze in two hours of sleep to allow my frazzled brain to reconstruct itself significantly enough for the test.

Woke up approximately two and a quarter hours later at 8 o' clock and took a shower. From then on I tried to cram things I thought I never could in my head; dates, concepts, events, anything really. Took a quick nap because my eyelids were closing to keep my brains from leaking out of my eye holes and went to take the test.

Everything that led up to this test adds up to the failure of my midterm but through God's grace, the things on the test were not easy but were of the things that I had crammed into my thoughts the night before and the hastily browsed notes of this morning. I won't say, no I can't say that I did well on that test, the essay was HORRIBLE. I was so rusty at LSA style writing, or rather any writing in general that I hope my thoughts were numerous enough to link together some kind of coherent argument on the strength of the communists in the north by 1954 in Vietnam.

All in all, I give credit to whatever I receive on the test to God. If I fail, then it is due to my faults and imperfections and I deserve every point that I didn't get. If I pass or do well, it is all because of God, for God, and has nothing to do with my power. May these words walk with me as I continue this day because I have so much to do now that I'm done with this test. Homeworks seeking attention like a devil baby that shrieks out for injustice and pain in my academic life will occupy my night tonight. No doubt I'll push that baby out the window to deal with it tomorrow.

Even now I'm late for class and I have to print out my finished HW to hand in but thankfully the class I'm late for is optional and I can eat something to survive the next 3.5 hour block of classes that is coming up. Fail. Well... I revel in the miasma of events, meetings, classes, homeworks, and work because I can lean upon the strength of God and struggle through it. Hopefully I'll remember to do that. hahahah...

Imperfectly yours,

Alex

edit: haha i just reread this and it sounds like im trying too hard to sound intelligent or like i write well. well.. i was. ahha